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Things are going from weird to weirder...quickly.
When I used to regularly cook dinner, Matt would often ask, “Are you going to make a sauce to go along with this?”
To which I would annoyedly respond, “No, but you’re welcome to.”
Depending on which phase of life we were in, dinner typically consisted of meat, veggies, and a side salad, or something vegetarian, raw, or vegan. We’ve dabbled in it all.
I did what I thought I was supposed to do or was conditioned to do. Be a good wife and, every other week, step-mom and cook a healthy meal for your family to sit down and eat together.
I never questioned this. Who knew there were options or that this was something one could even question? Not me. We are led to believe that this is what is best for the family, so this is what we should do.
For some, maybe for you, the joy of cooking is genetically programmed. This is not so for me, or at least, that’s what I thought.
You’ve certainly seen some version of this meme floating around at some point over the last several years, yes? Maybe you too resonated with it when you saw it?
As a Human Design Generator, I am here to do what “lights me up” or brings me satisfaction and steers me aware from frustration. Frustration being the #1 signpost that a generator is acting from the false self.
(Quick side note in case you’re not familiar: Human Design is the road map to self-love, decision making, and authenticity that we’re all born with. According to my design, I am a generator and, statistically speaking, you may be one too, as we make up almost 70% of the population. We have open and enveloping auras and everything we need is coming to us. All we are asked to do is to wait to respond to whatever is correct.)
Deciding on what to make for dinner does not light me up. Not even a little bit. Nor does preparing it. Cleaning up does typically bring me satisfaction, so that part was never so bad.
Now, after all these years, I’m finally starting to make sense of it and understand why I was so resistant! As much of life is completely nonsensical, I enjoy stumbling on the rare things that make sense.
Go down memory lane with me for a moment and remember how and what you wanted to eat as a child.
You likely gravitated towards an intuitive way of eating.
Maybe your parents supported your natural inclinations and honored your instincts?
Very cool, if so, lucky you!
I’m guessing that for most, this was not the case and the conditioning around food began early on.
Do you remember your natural inclinations? Maybe you knew if you were going to like something before you even tried it? Maybe you were never really hungry during the day, but preferred to eat after nightfall? Maybe you preferred to eat in silence and would have rather eaten in your room? Or maybe the opposite was true and you wanted the TV on, the radio on, and to be a part of boisterous conversation?
Do you perhaps remember feeling frustrated, bitter, or angry when your parents forced you to conform to whatever their idea of normal was?
Maybe, now that you’re thinking about it, you still resonate with those childhood preferences? How do they line up with what's expected of you and the choices you are currently making?
I’m a curious observer and I’m fascinated by those who try to will their way through a particular diet that is so apparently incorrect for them. They are miserable, grumpy, and their efforts bear no fruit. Yet, still, they trudge on because someone that isn’t them told them that’s what they should do.
The conditioning around food is real and it’s likely having a much greater impact, not only on your health, but on your ability to make decisions and digest life than you ever would have thought.
When it comes to something as primal and fundamental as choosing how, what, and when to eat, why are we trusting someone outside of ourselves to tell us what we should do? Especially if our bodies are telling us that’s a terrible idea. We ignore the feedback it gives us and do what they say anyway. Repeatedly.
Then, we’re told that if we’re not getting the results we want, that we’re doing it wrong. We accept the blame, shame, and guilt, vow to try harder, and fail again. Rinse and repeat. The conditioning continues. We further turn down the volume of our intuition and double down on what we’ve told.
When was the last time you were truly present with what it feels like in your body when you decide what to eat?
Maybe give it a try next time you sit down to have a meal.
I’ve been learning so much about this through my own experiment over the last year and I’m fascinated by what's unfolding.
For context, this aspect of my Human Design is Hot Thirst and that indicates that I’ll likely digest food and life better when it’s hot.
Oh how the lightbulbs went off when I found this out!
You mean not everyone feels like they’re going to freeze to death after they eat ice cream or drink a smoothie or an ice cold beverage? Or bloated and miserable after eating salads or other uncooked foods?
It all started to make sense. I had not been listening to what my body was telling me.
One of the coolest things about Human Design is that it’s an experiment. Your chart will tell you how you’re set up, but it’s up to you to test that out and see if it’s true or if it’s not.
I have found that consuming hot foods and beverages is absolutely correct for me.
I stopped deciding what's for dinner over a year ago. Matt and I no longer eat the same things very often and sometimes we don’t even eat at the same time. And, yes, we’re still very much in love.
This gave me so much freedom to explore! When you’re able to focus only on yourself, it’s easier to be able to hear your body’s response and follow your intuition when it comes to what and when to eat.
I know this isn’t necessarily an easy thing to do, especially if you have kids. Though it would be interesting to see what positive changes could come out of it, even if it is a major adjustment to make. It’s just something we’ve found that works for us.
I realized that along with focusing on hot things (I haven’t had anything colder than room temperature for over 3 months), I don’t even like to eat dinner! No wonder I was so frustrated!
I would eat at night, because that’s what you do. Then, I would overeat. Then, Matt would have an ice cream...so I would too. And then I would feel miserable. And frustrated. And vow to have more self control tomorrow.
Through experimentation, I’ve found that a combination of hot things, avoiding things according to my blood type (something that resonated with me as soon as I read that list), and following a 16-8ish fast works incredibly well for me.
I prefer to be done eating by 4, but I don’t always plan accordingly. 6 is a hard stop for me. If I haven’t eaten enough by then, I’ll go to bed a little hungry.
Now, the nuances are surfacing.
If my food is lukewarm, it’s not hot, and I can feel my body’s response that it’s incorrect.
I’m also noticing that, without a sauce, things are way too dry. No, the irony is not lost on me!
A hamburger and french fries are no longer an option. Makes my mouth dry just thinking about it.
Yesterday, we went for a late lunch at Nina Urku, a local favorite. I’d been hearing about their mushroom risotto and decided to give it a try. It was piping hot, super creamy, and tasted incredible.
I was in hot thirst heaven.
Last week I prepped triple batches of 4 different soups. 50 individual servings. High fat, protein packed, yummy, hot, and delicious soups.
I’m ok with being the crazy soup lady that doesn’t eat past a certain time and is generally considered odd by those that think themselves normal. Because it’s correct. It’s authentic. It works for me. And, now that I think about it, that probably isn’t even the weirdest part about me.
Since I started my version of the Hard 75 (stay tuned, more to come on that) and really began to focus on this way of eating in mid-December, I’ve easily lost 12 pounds. I’m not starving myself by any means. I still have mochas and sweets, and do not deny myself of anything I truly want. I don’t track macros or do much of anything that they say. I’m perimenopausal. This isn’t supposed to happen. And yet, it is.
I found the correct combination of what works for me. It’s unique. It’s mine alone.
And, I’m pretty damned happy about it!
There is a correct combination that will benefit you too.
This has been a hot topic (pun intended) of conversation at our house over the last week and when Matt asked if this is what I wanted to share with you, I responded, “Yes!” and the writing of it has left me feeling quite satisfied.
It’s been rainy and cold in the afternoons and evenings in Cotacachi over the last couple of weeks. There is no such thing as heating and cooling here, so I’ve been bundled up in sweats, a long robe, and wrapped in a blanket while Matt is walking around in shorts and a T-shirt talking about how perfect the weather here is. I’m missing the warmer climate of Malacatos in Southern Ecuador.
If the intensity of my experience continues, it will be interesting to see what new adventure it may spark. If eating and drinking hot things and living in a warmer environment lead to more correct decision making and living more authentically, then I’m here for it!
Those that are further along in their experiments than we are often share that big and radical change starts to happen around 3.5 years in and I can already see hints of this. I’m excited to see what happens next.
Maybe you’ve heard me talk about how we give our power away to fuel the false self and the mental stories we create, willingly embodying the conditioning to be as others expect us to be. I feel like food and how we eat it may be the single biggest and most impactful way we do this.
It’s also something that not everyone is immediately willing to explore or even consider.
Does any of this resonate with you? Are you willing to stop listening to what “they” say and start listening to what your body is trying to tell you? If so, I would love to hear of your experience, please do share...if you want to and that feels correct to you. 😊
Are you getting more and more curious about your Human Design? Does it feel correct to learn more? If so, I'd love to work with you.
We’ll go over the basics of your design and then I’d be happy to guide you through an Active Deconditioning.
Did you enjoy this blog? Have thoughts you'd like to share? Drop a heart and a comment, I'd love to hear from you!
Love,
Dr. KateFlynn
The Active Deconditioner