.png){kind=logo}
When I first began my investigation into the art of healing, I was focused on how much energy I could move, how quickly I could do it, and how deeply I could go.
The flaw to this methodology took me longer to realize than I would like to admit. When we do things in this way it eliminates the space for ease and grace. Now, washed in the wisdom of middle age, I dare say that I am ease and grace’s biggest fan. What a difference time makes.
Yet, that very same philosophy and mindset fills my social media feeds to this day.
Better. Faster. Stronger. Push through your limits. Be disciplined.
Never let your mood dictate your actions. Make things happen.
It seems like so many with this mindset are more spinning their wheels rather than getting where they want to go. It consumes a vast amount of mental resources when we “should all over” ourselves. Sometimes we’re not even actually getting anything done, we’re just thinking about it.
And we’re meeting with burnout, injury, and sickness in the process.
Maybe you are seeing this in your own experience? Or in that of those you are closest to?
The mind loves the push. And when we can’t keep up with the expectations it sets, it loves to judge and shame.
This is the epitome of the false self and it doesn’t happen by accident, it happens through conditioning.
We are taught to be way we are from a very young age.
After all, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, doing it all by yourself, and making things happen is the American dream, yes? Though I would observe that it’s looking more nightmarish than dreamlike at this point.
A few of us, called Manifestors in Human Design (don’t get stuck on that word, the use of it here is closer to “initiate" than what you typically think of regarding manifest), are designed to self-start and make things happen. But that drive was likely conditioned out of them by the parents and teachers that thought they needed to be contained and made to conform.
The meant-to-be wild made docile.
The majority of the rest of us, while not designed to initiate, were told to pick up that ball and run with it—even though it clearly didn’t come naturally to us. It’s as though we’ve all done our absolute best to play a game we are never going to win.
The meant-to-wait to respond or to be invited, forced into premature action.
Pretty ironic, isn’t it?
Where is all of this getting us? It’s been really good at creating a lot of busyness, that’s for sure. But are our efforts bearing any fruit?
As you reflect on your life experience up to this point, how many things did not go according to plan because you tried to rush them? Or because you ignored your own inner knowing and sought the unqualified advice of others?
I was really good at forcing things into being. But they never worked out the way I wanted and often resulted in regret and frustration. I was playing the game to the best of my ability, but it wasn’t working,
Does any of this feel familiar to you?
How many relationships did you force into being only to find that they would never live up to your hopeful expectations? Or miss out on because it was yours to initiate, but you waited for the other to make the first move? Jobs? Housing arrangements? What else?
What did you miss out on because you were chasing something that wasn’t yours?
Our cultural subscription to prioritizing mindset is blowing right past individual capacity and capability.
If you’re curious about how well you’re doing or how well this approach is working out for you, simply look at the health and wellbeing of your physical body.
As you may have heard me share before, your body is like your spacesuit for this Earthly experience. It’s always giving you feedback regarding what direction to go in, when to wait, and what choice to make.
But we’ve all been so conditioned to live from and believe the mindfuckery of our thinking thoughts. Its volume is often so high that we don’t even hear what the body is trying to say. Until it screams.
Are you sick all the time? Do you hurt all over? Can’t sleep? Constipated? Dis-eased? Have you ever asked your body what it wants from you? Because it will always tell you how you’re doing.
Every single physical ailment has an energetic component. It may be significant or it may be small, but I promise you, it is there. And if we could all slow down and stop blowing past this, implement proper correction, and reclaim all of the energy that’s fueling the false self (the deficiency of which is causing all the issues anyway), what a different experience we would all have.
Would you be willing to try a little experiment? Find one area of your life in which to stop forcing and start allowing? To see what naturally happens when you wait? To be your authentic self?
When it comes to your diet and exercise, stop forcing yourself to fit inside the box of another’s creation. Start listening to the needs and wants of your body.
When it comes to relationships, stop forcing connections that aren’t there or forcing others to be more like what you think they should be. Let them show you who they are. Decide if that’s going to be a correct fit for you or not. Move forward accordingly.
When it comes to your job, what are you attempting to force there? Is that strategy working for you? How could you start allowing something different to emerge?
I would love to hear your feedback and reflections! Share in the comments?
Better, faster, stronger is no longer a philosophy I can get behind and my life is so much better for it. It’s sweeter, gentler, and maximizes my capacity to experience ease and grace and that feels pretty darned good!
Would you like a little guidance to shift out of that philosophy? To stop overdoing and overthinking? If so, I would love the opportunity to help you taste the sweetness of life.
And, if you’d like to start moving in that direction on your own, consider checking out The School for Active Deconditioning. The Preparation Playlist is live now and we’re part-way through the intro to Human Design mini-course. I’d love to see you there.
If you're enjoying my blog, please consider sharing it with your friends through social media! And, do you have a topic you would like me to cover? Let me know!
Are you willing to experiment? Let me know how it goes! Have reflections you'd like to share? I'm all ears!