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Observations on Emotions

I remember The Spider and the Fly, an early Rolling Stones song, popping what seemed to be randomly into my husband’s head when we first started dating.

He was singing it the other day and a new awareness clicked into place for me as I listened and realized a metaphor between the lyrics and the interplay between the emotional and the non.

“I said my my like a spider to a fly, jump right ahead in my web.”

That realization was the inspiration for this blog post.

As an emotional person, unaware that she was emotional and others were not, and living more fully in the not-self than in the self-self, I was definitely more like the spider than the fly prior to learning about Human Design—unwittingly using my emotions in attempts to manipulate situations in my favor.

Emotion is a funny thing and the dance between those that are ruled by them and those that are not can be an intense one, especially when those involved aren’t consciously aware of what is happening.

The idea that there were people not ruled by emotion was never even in my realm of possibility. I had talked about riding the waves of emotions long before learning about HD and wrongly assumed this concept applied to everyone.

It’s not that non-emotional people don’t have feelings or experience things like sadness or joy, it’s that they are transient. They don’t ramp up and fall. They experience a feeling and then it’s gone. Or, they amplify the emotions of the emotional beings they are surrounded by.

Curious to know how this applies to you? You can get your free Human Design chart at If your solar plexus or emotional center is colored in, you have emotional authority. If it’s white, you are non-emotional.

Then, verify your findings with your own experiences.

Do you tend to feel emotions super intensely and amplify whatever is being expressed when relating to others? And then find that when you are alone, in your own auric field and free from the influences of those around you, that those emotions completely disappear? That’s a tell tale sign, from what I’ve heard, that you are non-emotional.

Or, do you ride your emotions like a wave regardless of whether or not you are alone or surrounded by others? That’s how it works for me. Once the emotion is rolling, all I can do is allow it to happen. Resistance is futile and will likely only prolong the experience.

Roughly half of the population is emotional while the other half is not.

Understanding this dynamic is transformative when it comes to navigating relationships, understanding why others are the way they are, and letting go of any expectation that they “should be” more like you.

When the emotional wave is rising, falling, or peaking, no answers will be found in the now. There is no space for logic and resolution of conflict will not happen. The best thing either party can do is walk away.

Allow the emotions to play out and revisit the conversation when neutrality returns.

This is so against our conditioning though, isn’t it? Be mature adults. Don’t walk away. Talk it out. Yeah…that’s just not how it works.

If my emotions are doing their thing and you are amplifying them, taking this approach is only going to make things worse.

Maybe examples from your own experience are rising to the surface as you read these words? Maybe the unfolding of those experiences are starting to make more sense?

How much easier would it be to navigate relationships if understanding of these dynamics was common knowledge? I know that knowledge isn’t wisdom, but I still like to believe that it could make a significant difference.

My experience of emotions is so different now. I no longer try to pull Matt into the depths with me and he no longer willingly jumps into the web.

If my wave has crashed, he will hold the space for me but he now has the capacity to know that the emotions are not his and he can choose not to amplify them. He can put a hand on my shoulder or offer a hug. Or, he can walk away. He knows that words will get us nowhere.

It’s not so cut and dry when I’m on an emotional high. I still don’t understand exactly how this work, but I feel it safe to say that my enthusiasm will pull others in and have them riding the wave with me. What has changed in this regard is that I won’t use the enthusiasm to manipulate or influence others. I always want you to do whatever it is that is correct for you.

For non-emotional beings, it may be tempting to lump all of us emotional beings into the same category, but we are very, very different.

Some of us are here for the tribe. For others, their wave is individual and will shift the experience of those around them. And still others live in a bit of a fantasy world, inviting those around them to see their fantasies made real.

To make things even more complicated, some of us ride multiple waves, some of us have no conscious awareness of our emotions, and some of us are split from our emotional centers. I’ll spare you the details here and suffice it to say that it’s unwise to assume we’re all the same.

I share this information because we are all swimming in the deep waters of emotion, whether through a solitary experience of them or by proxy. If you are a non-emotional being, you are here to learn about emotions and gain a better understanding of them. If you are an emotional being, you are here to learn how to ride the wave.

When I first learned about Human Design and found out I was a generator, I was sad not to be a manifestor and when I found out I had emotional authority, I was sad to not have sacral authority.

After a few years in my experiment, I’ve fallen in love with both of these aspects of myself.

Emotions bring the excitement, they are enticing and alluring.

In the last city we lived in we made friends with a couple and both of them were non-emotional.

This relationship gave me such a better understanding of the non-emotional experience.

Enthusiasm, curiosity, and engagement all without emotion.

So completely foreign to my experience, leaving me with the thought that our Earthly experience would be flat if devoid of emotion. And, even though we may confound those of you that are non-emotional, it is my understanding that you can’t help but be drawn to us. Even if you do feel a sense of relief once separated from us.

Non emotional beings are natural empaths and conscious awareness of this will bring so much more ease and grace to your experience. You can easily know what another is feeling because of your ability to amplify their emotions. Your challenge is to acknowledge what they are feeling and have compassion for it, without assuming responsibility for it.

Once you assume responsibility, that is no longer empathy.

Emotions are meant to be understood or investigated.

We’ve gone from mentally trying to suppress or control them to mentally believing we have to name them, dissect them, understand them, and connect them with something rational. This is mental madness.

Emotions are simply to be felt. This is the key to letting them pass.

Otherwise, we will unnecessarily suffer.

Would you like to know more? I can guide you through an understanding of your Human Design and jumpstart your deconditioning.

Click the link to schedule if you’d like to learn how to love yourself, unbecome all of those things you were never meant to be, and heal from the things you’ve experienced.

Also, here is your reminder that the School for Active Deconditioning is up and running on YouTube and available to all.

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