What is the Sweet Spot?
What Does it Look and Feel Like to Live Life in the Sweet Spot?
According to Websters, the Sweet Spot is defined as an optimum point or combination of factors or qualities. In tennis, it’s the center of the strings. For singers, it’s the most comfortable and easy to reach vocal range and the area in which they sound the best. In acoustics, it’s the space where one can experience optimal enjoyment of the speaker configuration. In sex...well I’m sure you have some understanding of what the sweet spot is in this context. And then, there’s the literal definition--the perfect dessert to satisfy your sweet tooth.
Let’s take the conversation a little deeper and broaden the definition. How does the term relate to how we live our lives? What does life look like when lived in the Sweet Spot? And, has anyone managed to live there in all areas of life or for extended periods of time?
Hi, my name is Dr. Kate Flynn. Welcome to episode 1 of the Life in the Sweet Spot Podcast: 111 Actions to live at the Intersection of your Humanity and Divinity. On tap for today is, “What does it look and feel like to live life in the Sweet Spot?”
I like to see the sweet spot as a continuum on the infinity symbol. In the center where the loops cross is the sweet spot and it is experienced when we are aligned with our hearts and in harmony with our egos. When we are out of this alignment and acting fully from our egos, we operate at the extremes of the infinity symbol and are far from the sweet spot. Too much or too little of anything will set us up for another opportunity to learn and grow.
It’s important to note that the Sweet Spot can only happen in relationship. The center of the strings on your tennis racket is irrelevant if you never hit a ball. The Sweet Spot for a singer will only be heard if he or she sings. You will only experience the Sweet Spot of your life when you are in relational harmony with your inner world and the world around you.
How the Sweet Spot looks and feels depends on context. The Sweet Spot of your 20’s may have looked like staying afloat, having your bills paid, and enough money left over for drinks at the bar. That shifts as we age, get married, or have kids and realize that we want more than to simply stay afloat.
The Sweet Spot in one romantic relationship will not be the same in the next one. This comparison or belief that it “should” be the same is what gets so many into trouble. Some become unwilling to see all the goodness that is because they are focused on what was and what is no longer. The result is a polarization out of the sweet spot and into the extremes of ego. Some may conclude that life is much better on their own and swear off any future romantic partnership. Others will become serial daters and end a relationship as soon as it no longer measures up to what they think they want. The sweet spot, of course, lies somewhere in between. I could go on and on here...but we’ll go into a deeper exploration of this in a future episode.
Another example would be the sweet spot in relation to our physical appearance. The anti-aging market is a billion dollar industry, hungry to amplify and then capitalize on the insecurity that seems to come as youth is left behind and middle age sets in. Some of us will gladly handover our money to anything that promises to rebuke the aging process and fight would could otherwise be a beautiful transition. Others will fall into apathy, blame their genetics, throw up their hands and say, “Oh well, there’s nothing I can do.” Both of these are extremes of the ego.
When in the sweet spot, you know that you are not your body. You know that the slow decline that comes with age is inevitable and you are less willing to expend so much time, money, and effort to fight it. You eat well because you know you feel better when you do. You move your body because it feels good and you have zero fucks to give the last five or ten pounds that the media wants you to believe is unacceptable. You surrender some made up ideal of what you should look like and you love yourself as you are.
One’s ability to find the sweet spot of financial wealth has much to do with how they were raised. If the conversation around money was centered on the fact that it doesn’t grow on trees or is very hard to come by, the financial sweet spot can be hard to find--especially when it’s so closely tied into our self-worth. Easy access to money growing up can lead to the belief that it’s easy to come by and some may take its abundance for granted. To paraphrase Biggie, “Mo’ money can in fact lead to mo’ problems.” And so can the lack of it.
Maybe the financial sweet spot is knowing that money is available in abundance, appreciating and respecting it, and using it for the betterment of our communities.
My journey into the sweet spot, or what I like to lovingly refer to as the Land of Cupcakes and Unicorns, has been a lifelong adventure and isn’t over yet. I used to think that everything had to be a fight. That, rather than rely on anyone else, I would do what needed to be done all on my own, thank you very much. I even wanted a license plate that had “badasschic” on it. Thankfully, a wise friend talked me out of that. Seems that if you’re looking for a fight, a fight is what you’ll find. Go figure.
Now, I’m more willing to let my guard down, to be vulnerable, and to share my authentic self. The connections I make when I relate to others in this way are deeper than any I knew before. So, I catch tastes of the Sweet Spot and they keep me coming back for more.
Onto the 111 Actions--we’ll cover everything from the mundane to the mental to the etheric. You’ll learn how to engage your intuition, trust your heart, stretch your body, ground your energy, and create wholeness. Some of them will resonate with you and others will have you asking, “What the hell was that?” It’s all good. You don’t have to do all 111, just choose the ones that speak to you. Do them often, do them for a while, and, once you’ve gotten all of them you can get, expand your awareness and try some of those that are a little further outside of your box.
I’m sharing these things that I’ve learned and channeled because I see a massive need for them in our society. It’s time to talk about and explore tools for mental, emotional, and spiritual health and better understand how hiccups in these areas manifest in our physical bodies. As we do, our kids will notice and they will learn how to use them too. This is how we’ll break the generational cycles of isolation, avoidance, and the tendency to pretend that everything is fine when, really--it’s not. Far from it. And, it begins with the individual, it begins with you and me. When we are willing to learn and grow our connections will deepen, are communities will strengthen, our leaders will come into higher alignment, and our consciousness will evolve.
If you’d like to embark on this journey into the sweet spot with me, I invite you to complete your first action step. Consider your relationships--with God/Source/Higher Power-Whatever you call that which connects us all, yourself, your family, your finances, your community, etc--and reflect upon them. Describe each relationship as it is and then consider how it would look if it was in the Sweet Spot. How do they match up? Check out the worksheet I’ve included to help you through this.
These action steps to tend to bring up a lot of our “stuff.” The more in the Sweet Spot your relationships already are, the less resistance you’ll have, and the better you’ll feel when you review your relationships. The more polarized or out of the sweet spot you are, the more resistance you’ll have, and you may have a harder time with the review. Either way, after you complete the exercise, consider checking out my Clear Your Slate meditation on Insight Timer. I created it specifically as a follow-up to this exploration and it will help you move through any heaviness that may arise.
If you enjoyed this podcast and want to know more, please subscribe, like, and share it with your friends! Email me your comments and questions and I’ll answer them in an upcoming episode. And, if you’re ready to dive in, check out the Life in the Sweet Spot MasterClass at www.LifeInTheSweetSpot.org/masterclass. It’s an 11 week, 22 hour experience is self-discovery and empowerment that will streamline your transition into the sweet spot.
Podcast #2 will be on How to Understand your Ego. Thank you for joining me today, see you next time!