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and the birthplace of resentments.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the excitement of something new that we ignore all of the little intuitive red flags that pop up around it.
You know, the little voice within that says, “something’s not quite right, let’s find out more before we proceed.”
But, when it’s something we think we really want—a relationship, house, job, magical cure, or other opportunity that appears to be full of potential—we aren’t always so keen to listen to that voice.
Instead, we narrow our vision, ignore the warning bells, and give all of our attention to the shiny thing before us.
Think, Gollum and the Ring.
Then, when it all blows up, we get angry and look for someone to blame.
Even though, if we are willing to trace things back to the beginning, we will often find that we ignored our intuition and the challenges we are facing were avoidable.
To quote Taylor Swift, “Hi. It’s me. I’m the problem, it’s me.”
And so I postulate that resentments are born at the intersection of making decisions while ignoring intuitive hesitation.
But, most of us aren’t consciously aware of this and, because we don’t understand why things happened the way they did, we get stuck in limbo and without resolution. And that stuckness consumes a lot of valuable resources that we could otherwise use to fuel more productive and enjoyable ventures.
The same thing happens when we allow others to force us into decisions. We turn the volume up on their voices and opinions, while turning the volume of our own voice down, thereby handing over all of our power.
Again, when things don’t work out the way that others so confidently promised they would and, if we’re being completely honest with ourselves, we blame them for our misfortune. Even if on a subconscious level.
Regardless of how you got there, once you’ve ignored your instincts, you’ve given life to the resentment and it is a consummate consumer. And the deficiencies it creates within leave you tired, achey, grumpy, sad, constipated, and more.
Ignoring the energetic entanglements, you look for physical cures for emotionally rooted symptoms.
Soooooooo...how do you move forward and make sure history doesn’t repeat itself?
While you can’t go back in time and undo what’s been done, you can reclaim your power from those circumstances—through intention coupled with assumed responsibility and radical acceptance of what happened.
And if you get stuck here...this is kinda what I do...reach out and I’ll guide you through the process.
Once you resolve the past, you can set yourself up to experience more satisfaction, success, and peace in all of your future decisions.
How?
Mostly, by learning to wait. This alone will significantly decrease the space for resentments to manifest and instincts to be ignored.
The false-self world has conditioned us to believe that we have to react in a somewhat immediate way, to most everything that comes our way.
Like we’re in a high stakes sporting event that requires immediate reaction.
But...we’re not.
Most things in life are not life or death nor do they require immediacy, no matter what your mind has to say in opposition to that.
We have time to wait. To choose a response.
You’ve heard me say before that your body is your vessel or earthship for your human experience. It’s always giving you feedback and direction, but you have to be willing to take a breath and listen to what it has to say.
So, learn to wait. Make a habit out of waiting. Experiment with waiting. I’m pretty sure you’ll be quite happily surprised by your results.
Be willing to take your laser beam focus off of the shiny thing.
See it in the big picture context of everything that surrounds it.
The house may be a great fit, but is it in the correct neighborhood or environment?
It may be your dream job, but will your new boss make your life miserable?
The surgery promises immediate relief, but is it what your body is asking for?
Be willing to look at everything involved and see how you intuitively respond to each aspect.
It would be great if everyone involved with a particular decision was honest and transparent, freely giving up all relevant information.
But, experience tells us that is not typical and encourages us to rely on our instincts.
So we learn to trust ourselves and not worry so much about others.
Conditioning tells us to listen to and trust authority. Our instincts tell us when that’s a good idea and when to run in the opposite direction.
Shore up your boundaries, the agreements you make with yourself that teach others how to treat you. Read this blog for more details on this topic.
Keep your attention directed towards the life you want to create and the enjoyment of it. If your awareness stays glued here, things aren’t going to be able to so easily trip you up.
And so I leave you with one final question:
Is resentment diminishing your quality of life and contributing to dis-ease?
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See you next Sunday!
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