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Can you Handle the Truth?

I would like to further the movement to normalize a few things that I feel would add a lot of peace, satisfaction, and success to our collective experience.


(Note: If you're interested in a little life update and insights from my Human Design experiment, read all the way to the end!)


Shall we begin with honesty? 🤔


Sounds good to me!

(Farewell celebration from the doggy happy hour crew)


Sure, we’re all taught to be honest. Tell the truth. Be of integrity. Our parents teach us, religion tries to instill it within us, teachers make a big deal of it.


But...and that’s very BIG but...


Representation of this supposedly core value is significantly lacking. It’s not represented within the shows and movies we watch and it’s certainly not the top priority of those that share the news or the politicians that govern us. So I guess it’s not super surprising that it is so glaringly absent from our relationships—those we have with others and also the one we have with ourselves.


We’re told not to hurt other people's feelings, as if it’s an impossibility that one could be honest without being mean. We’re also taught that we are somehow responsible for the emotional reactions and responses of others. We have to couch what we say and little white lies are ok, so long as you don’t say anything to upset whomever is prone to emotional outburst and was never taught to take responsibility for their feelings. The conditioned response is that everyone takes everything personally.


I’m offended. I don’t like your tone. You’re not telling me what I want to hear, so I’m not listening.


We will take drastic measures rather than tell the truth. We will have affairs to not have to emphatically tell our partners of our unhappiness, our acceptance of the situation, and our need to move on. Because we don’t want to hurt their feelings. Because maybe we have tried, but they are not hearing us. Rather than tell another that a relationship with them doesn’t feel correct, we’ll make up all kinds of untrue stories or go to lengthy measures to avoid them or we will do our best to suffer in silence. We will eat and drink things that we know are bad for our bodies, say things are great and good when they are terrible and bad, and accept goods and services that are clearly not what we agreed to pay for all under the guise of not making a fuss.


No one wins in these situations. Often, the truth finds its way to the service and everyone's feelings are hurt in the process anyway. So much avoidable pain and suffering.


And then there’s the awareness that many of us can’t handle the truth when it’s shared with us. Rather than truly hearing another’s perspective, we choose to take it personally. We seem so fragile that we have become incapable of dealing with rejection. When, why do we even have to call it that in the first place? Why can’t it just simply be an incompatibility? An incorrect connection. What is true for you is in opposition with what is true for me and letting that be ok.


Kind of ironic that this fragility is making us more dangerous.


I remember my endeavors into internet dating. One guy took me out for ice cream because, “girls like ice cream.” He was an ex-cop, drove super recklessly, even when I told him it was scaring me, and then couldn’t believe it when he asked if I wanted to see him again and I said no. It was a measured response that I had to in the moment weigh against my fear and the fact that I naively let this person know where I lived. Thankfully, he also knew that I didn’t live alone.


It doesn’t always work out so well. I’ve heard stories of people being attacked and worse because others, who swore that they were nice human beings and because of that deserved their reciprocated interest, couldn’t handle the perceived rejection.


It isn’t always safe to tell the truth and I am not at all suggesting that you should risk your safety to tell it. In dangerous situations, by all means lie.


When we take things personally, there is no safe space to be honest. When I’m honest, you’re upset, so I lie. When I’m honest, you’re not available to hear what I have to say and rather than make myself be heard, I lie. It’s safer that way.


How sad is that?


Do you want honesty from others?


Do you create a safe space for others to be honest without fear of repercussion?


Do you sacrifice your sense of self and your personal values to keep from rocking the boat?


When you are honest with others do you allow them to respond in ways that are correct with them?


That’s important to know and understand. Just because you speak up for your needs and desires, doesn't mean that others have to automatically fall in line and sacrifice their needs to give you what you want. It may mean that you move forward in different directions. Can you let that be ok?


It may be time to look at some of these things. Because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the world seems to be losing its shit right now. And the only way we can truly change the world is by showing up in it in the most authentic and truest-to-ourselves kind of ways.


And we haven’t even gotten to the lies we tell ourselves. How many falsities are so deeply embedded within the fabric of who you believe yourself to be that you can’t even see them? What have you logically convinced yourself is true even though the glaring falsity of it is making you physically sick?


I have a theory that the mid-life crisis, meno/manopause/whatever you want to call it, combined with illnesses that show up out of the blue and get chalked up to “getting older” are 60-80% rooted in a lifetime accumulation of dishonest moments, both shared and denied. I’m not saying that your hormones, diet, activity level, and diagnoses don’t matter. I’m saying that these issues result because of the vast amounts of lifeforce energy consumed by an unwillingness to stand in truth thereby creating deficits within that allow for the expression of disease.


Every single physical, emotional, or mental issue has an energetic component. It may not be the biggest part, but it may be the thing that’s holding everything you’d rather not experience into place.


And so I ask, “Can you handle the truth?”


Can you be honest (with others and with yourself), say what you mean without being mean, and choose not to take it personally when others are honest with you?


I was hoping to get to a couple more thoughts, but my exploration of this topic got a little heavier than I initially anticipated. So I’m going to close here and leave the remaining two for future blogs.


*******

If you could logically or mentally figure out your life, you probably would have done so by now, yes? If you’ve worked on your mindset, dissected your story forwards and backwards, done all of the eastern and western medicine stuff that you can think of, and you’re still not seeing the results you would like, maybe it’s time to try a new approach?


I can work with anyone to shift from a mental approach to a body centered one so that they may see realize their goals and intentions, but I love especially love working with those that have physical issues that won’t resolve, those that are navigating life transitions, and those that have tried to live solely in the spiritual realm and ready to embrace the human experience.


If any of that resonates with you, would you like to work together? Visit the link to schedule!


And, if you’d rather figure out how to do this for yourself, you are more than welcome to join us in The School for Active Deconditioning on YouTube. Here’s the link for the Preparation Playlist. It’s free and available to all!


If you get a lot out of these blogs and you would like to share some financial support, it would be most appreciated. My Venmo is @kate-flynn-17.


If you liked this blog in particular, give it a heart and share it with your friends. As always, I love hearing your thoughts and reflections, so please share in the comments! Did what I share resonate with you? Did it trigger you? Do you think I have it all wrong? Tell me about it.


*******

In case you’re curious, we got the house I mentioned in the last blog and moved in last week! As a Human Design Generator, this is the most significant proof I’ve seen yet that waiting for life to come to me and responding accordingly actually works. I did not have to go out and make anything happen. This house literally fell in my lap, all because I responded to buying some bowls that I didn’t actually need. Had I been logical at that moment, ignored the response from my body to buy the bowls and reasoned that I didn’t really need them, we wouldn’t have found this house. This is what I mean when I talk about body-centered living. No matter how much we want it to be, life is not logical. It’s magical.


The new house has a wall all the way around it. The walls looked very strange to us when we first moved here from the U.S. and now they look totally normal. Having a wall is so much more congruent with the fact that we are private people and it’s absolutely perfect for our artificial shores environment. It’s not a pretty wall, though the caretaker is likely going to paint it soon, but it is lovely. From my office, I look out and see the horizon of the wall meeting the tree line and, while it makes no logical sense that I would love it so much, it makes me so incredibly happy. Lucas is back to having free reign and he is once again loving living outside just as much as we are.


I set out to do some exploring the other day and found that this is right in our backyard. I had been feeling a little homesick for East Tennessee as I perused all of the lake-life pictures recently shared by friends. We do love the water and miss our kayaks. The Andean region of Ecuador has many lakes and rivers, but we are told that the ones closest to us are polluted and not safe for swimming and water sports. Realizing the abundant nature and the sweet little creek are so convenient to our new place, helped me feel a little less sad. While Ecuador, like any place in the world, is not without issues, it is a stunningly beautiful country and I am grateful.


Until Next Time and with Love,

Dr. Kate

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