Ah-Ha's and AFOG's

I still remember the first time I heard mention of the AFOG acronym. I was with my friend, Mary Jane, at a lecture put on by the Association for Research and Enlightenment. They share Edgar Cayce’s material as a means for personal change.

AFOG is the only thing I remember about that lecture.

Another Friggin' Opportunity for Growth.

If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you too have experienced many such opportunities and the ah-ha moments that come with them.

When we embark on the endeavor of spiritual growth and self-development, it is tempting to believe that it will be all rainbows and butterflies or cupcakes and unicorns when, in reality, things can often be messy as we navigate all of these wonderful opportunities.

At least that’s the way I often experience it. Giving myself a little bit of grace as I move through challenging waters has been a game changer. I don’t have to do things perfectly or like anyone else thinks I should. Sometimes I over correct and then have the opportunity to make amends. And that’s OK too.

It is through writing that I process my life. That I attempt to understand or make some sense of it. That I reflect on and then integrate the experiences I’ve had and the things I learn along the way.

The upside of sharing with you in this way is that you get to see it all in real-time. Maybe you get to give yourself a little more grace as you navigate the world or learn from the things that I share.

It’s also the downside.

Sometimes you get to see the real and the raw. If you put me up on any kind of pedestal, I will surely come tumbling down. That is the nature of the Human Design 5 line. Premature love and acceptance of me is a foreboding sign that my tumble isn’t far behind.

And that’s OK.

Mary Jane once asked me if I realized that the depth of my seeing and intuitive knowing can make others feel as though they are standing naked on Main Street.

I guess it’s only fitting that sometimes, I am the naked one.

Needless to say, the AFOG’s keep coming. How boring would life be if we pretend everything is fine, we’re unbothered, or like we have it all figured out. Some things I have a pretty good handle on, others I have just scratched the surface.

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These are the things I’ve learned through my latest opportunity for growth:

If I feel I’ve been wronged or lied to, I have a pattern of communicating to resolve, served with a side of antagonism. The antagonism is not helpful. The best way for me to avoid the resentment that fuels the antagonism is to immediately and in a striving to understand way, rather than an accusatory one, have a conversation with those involved.

Letting things go or getting over them without any sort of resolution is not something that I’ve found works super well for me. My attempts to do so only cause resentment to build.

Does that work for you?

It’s advice we receive from others all the time. I know I’ve told others to “let it go” and “get over it” in the past and I’m now acutely aware of how unhelpful, regardless of how well intended, it was.

For me, radical acceptance of whatever has happened followed by appropriate action to resolve the situation is the only way to guarantee that I won’t later be mean and then have to make amends. You have to meet people where they are, and some people aren't capable of telling the truth.

Sometimes, and as you can probably imagine, others take issue with what I have to say and soemtimes they let me know in what comes off in a righteous, shaming, and judgmental way.

I’m pretty sure that no one has ever been inspired or motivated by shame. It’s such a low-vibrational way to go. So, in case you’re thinking of shaming someone, maybe don’t? Especially if you’ve haven't lived your life in such a way that no one could ever fathom shaming you.

I recently received such a communication from someone that I know, who isn’t exactly a pillar of moral integrity. After a few instances last year when this person showed me who he is, I had already decided that this was not someone I wanted to be more than an acquaintance of.

That didn’t stop him from sending me a long and admonishing text of his disapproval.

I engaged in the conversation and through it learned that some people don’t deserve the engagement. I learned that if I don’t know you or I don’t respect you, I can simply say, “thank you for your feedback,” and move on.

I’ve had the opportunity to learn this before, but I feel like it’s hitting on a deeper level this time. Rather than it being a concept I mentally know to be true, I’m integrating it into the fiber of my being where I can embody it rather than think it.

If I know and respect you, I will be amenable to having a conversation regarding your thoughts on my words...but not if you try to shame me for them.

Lastly, I’ve learned how vitally important it is for me to respect a particular boundary within myself.

Others seem to have the ability to play in sarcasm, going down dark roads about worst case scenarios, and trash-talking, and then they easily move out of that place, unaffected.

I do not have that ability. I am affected. I linger too long in the darkness and it takes me to unhealthy places.

It’s up to me to protect this boundary and to actively choose not to engage.

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In case you're curious, this Monday we are moving into the house I mentioned in the last blog.

While it’s exciting for me to get caught up in the idea of moving to new places, the reality is that this little town checks all of the boxes for the life we wanted to create when we initially moved to Ecuador.

And this new home, quite serendipitously, found us. Leaning into the wait is bearing fruit and that feels quite satisfying.

As we pack up and prepare, I do feel a little sadness regarding our experience here and how hopeful I felt the day we moved in.

According to my Human Design, I am motivated by hope. When I’m operating from my true self, rather than my conditioned self, I truly am a “make the most out of any situation and look for the silver lining,” kind of person. I am looking forward to seeing more of her.

In case you’re in the midst of your own AFOG and maybe you don’t know, you are allowed to be messy. It is in the mess that we find our truth and make the choice to move forward in new ways. Never let anyone shame you for that.

Is there any particular topic you would like to see covered in a future blog? As a Human Design generator, I am here to respond to life coming to me. I will happily take a break from responding to the things I am experiencing in my own life and share things I’ve learned on topics that would be helpful for you.

You might be interested to know that “no choice” is a topic that gets discussed quite frequently in Human Design circles. You may sometimes wonder, “why is she sharing all of this?” To which I would respond, “no choice.” It’s all mechanics. Once I feel the physical response from my sacral to a topic and the green light from my emotional center, the words literally pour out onto my screen.

Would you like to know more about your Human Design? You can learn how to read the basics of yours through the mini-course I’ve shared as part of the School for Active Deconditioning: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrCE9Shtr96qzAv-3EWzv5VJPp9oFQ11c&si=fdYnHp7begRXDolr

If you want some one-on-one guidance as to how to effectively use the user’s manual you were born with, we can do that too!

In terms of deconditioning and healing work, I am truly most passionate about working with others to resolve the mental thought processes and stories that are locking physical pain and disease in place.

Over the years, I’ve witnessed everything from frozen shoulder, to radiating numbness and tingling, to migraine headaches completely resolve with this approach.

So, if you’re experiencing any kind of physical hardship and maybe you’ve explored all that traditional methods have to offer, and you’re responding to this invitation, please reach out! I would love the opportunity to guide you through the process!

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And, if you would like to learn this approach for yourself, start from the beginning and enroll in the school. It’s free to all and on YouTube. Here’s the link to the video that will get you started: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrCE9Shtr96rfa4ygfk98Z21ZTCcl8ju5&si=eCYUTkwj7fX5snbf

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All the Best,

Dr. Kate